My Walk With Jesus

 Have you ever felt that you've reached a plateau in your relationship with God? Perhaps the routine and predictable things we do as a Christian are just our way to staying in control of our spiritual life. But God has so much more in store for us. In the book of Exodus when the Israelites are standing in front of mount Sinai, they tell Moses to talk whatever God conveys to him, and they request that God doesn't speak to them directly. Then Moses draws near to God and the people stay far away. Perhaps, we also have settled with being a little farther from God than what he desires of us, so that we won't be convicted by his righteous presence. However, in the book of James, the writer tells us to draw near to God.

Here is my prayer; asking God to draw me closer. 

I know my God that you are near
I see my life you always steer
I trust you hear me when I call
I've seen you catch me when I fall
But I lack zeal to do Your will
My God please draw me closer still

Your word is true and this I know
And when I read it then I grow
The treasure chest of wisdom deep
It's statutes close to me I keep
But knowledge won't build as love will
My God please draw me closer still

I like to often sing Your praise
Use worship songs to fill my days
I love the joy of Sunday morns
A robe of songs the church adorns
Sometimes its just a routine drill
So God please draw me closer still.

I know you'll have to chisel me
Rid me of my complacency
Expel from depths my hidden sin
Let me accept your discipline
May honest worship in me start
May I sing from a humbled heart
I pray your truth renews my mind
And I am changed by what I find.

May I be quick to hear your voice

Make your will my foremost choice

Your purpose for me, come fulfill

My God please draw me closer still

So back to the question. Why even try? Now one thing I have come to learn in life is that every question can be interpreted in a many different ways, and each interpretation tells us more about the interpreter than the question itself. So, Let me take this moment to anticipate a few things you might be anticipating about this blog post. You perhaps see me dimming the lights so that I can build contrast for a counter point which I am going to highlight. Guilty, as charged - I'm getting there. But, perhaps you have thought about this question yourself and have resigned to the conclusion that we should steer clear of making plans to achieve something for the kingdom of God, and instead spend time figuring out what His plans are, before taking any step. I sincerely hope that you will find a fresh perspective as you read on.

Now firstly, let me make clear that I do think that our plans, ideas and methods don't match up to God's. He makes it clear here and in other scriptures that, we can't even begin to fathom how great His plans are, and that He is able to do immeasurably more than anything we can ask or imagine. So to put it bluntly; when we've outdone ourselves and come up with something seemingly brilliant, God's still got a better plan...and not by a small margin - hence the heaven and earth analogy. However, I don't think that this necessarily leads to the conclusion that God doesn't want us to try. This jump usually comes when we swallow a faulty assumption. The assumption being that, the sole purpose of our efforts is to "achieve results". 

I have learned that, when we tie our efforts directly to the results that we achieve, we ignore a lot of what the Bible says. For example in Psalms 127 God says :

Did you catch it? Notice what Paul is saying . "... he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness..." (emphasis mine). Paul is praying that God may take hold of their faith inspired actions and their righteous desires in order to make it a reality. Listening to that really makes me excited. God would actually be interested in my thoughts and efforts. To be clear, (and repetitive) - I'm not suggesting that we somehow surprise God with something that He didn't have or couldn't think of. I'm merely suggesting that perhaps He is more willing to have us closely involved in the process of building His kingdom, than we would like to think He is. To provide another analogy - God is less like an over achieving manager who always forces  his best laid plans on his subordinates, and more like a loving father who knows how to compensate for his children's well intentioned but ill-devised plans. Let's consider the following in order to put things in perspective. God tells us that He is able to use for good all that the enemy means for evil. How much more is He able to use our plans and efforts if they acknowledged Him and are purposed for His glory.

Perhaps we have limited our interaction with God in terms of being used by Him to being similar to the role we play at our workplaces as employees. If yes then, we need to draw nearer to Him and realize that He is not interested in servants who merely do His bidding to gain a wage, but instead wants to develop us into His sons and daughters who emulate His character and carry out tasks to witness a harvest, in which we are partakers. We need to realize that it is His plan to transform us by the renewing of our minds so that our desires are truly good. And may we consider the possibility that every once in a while, the bright plan that we device for His glory, originated within us due to a gentle whisper of His Holy Spirit. That God would allow us to take ownership of a task, of which He himself is the initiator and perfecter, in order to make us feel a more integral part of His family.

Ever started your conversation with God with "I miss you..." ? Well I have. Many times. But every time I say that, I immediately realize that I'm kind of complaining about something that's actually my fault.  Let me explain...

There's always so much going on... always. Doesn't matter what time of year it is or how many projects are going on at work, let's face it, we've all grown accustomed to live a life where "being busy" has become the default state. Perhaps, that's one reason why taking time out for prayer and devotion becomes difficult. But if you are anything like me you can perhaps think of many times when you had the opportunity and yet you didn't use it to spend some quality time with God. So, due to this honest observation about my life, it is clear to me that the reason I have missed spending time with God is not His absence, rather it is my reluctance. So when I say "I miss you.." to God, it's not a complaint, it's a confession.

But how does God respond to our "I miss you"... Does He get upset and use this moment of realization to remind us of how bad we have been? I don't think so. I sincerely believe that God's response is usually "I've missed you too". Why do I say this? Because God desires for us to communicate with Him and it hurts Him when we don't. Now let me be clear here. I'm not suggesting that our lack of prayer and failure to find time for God, robs Him of His glory and causes some relational need in Him to be unfulfilled. God is not dependant on us for any sort of emotional fulfillment. God doesn't need us. But, He wants us. A desire so saturated with love that He was willing to send His only Son to die for us. A love so great that He seems to be persecuted when His people are persecuted. A kind of love, lavished upon us, that we get to be called the children of God. It's due to this love, that the Bible tells us that it is possible to grieve His Spirit and it is due to this, that I feel God would tell us "I've missed you too".

So humbling, so marvellous, so comforting. Paul informs us in his letter to the Romans that God's kindness is meant to lead us towards repentance. I don't think this is a hidden agenda. It's just a natural response when you understand more of His love and grace in your life. God saying "I've missed you too"confronts and comforts me at the same time. Makes me realize the foolishness of not spending time with Him and makes me feel totally at peace because I am now in His presence. Another one of the many paradoxical things that only God is able to do in my life.

So here's how this post ends. I have about 45 more minutes that I'll be sitting at this coffee shop (yes, Tim Horton's it is). Time I would usually use to browse through Facebook or Twitter or do some of the other stuff that makes me "busy". But instead of all that, I'm gonna go chill with God. Tell Jesus how much I've missed Him, that I'm sorry for it and then discuss our walk together. Talk about some places we've been and maybe get foresight into some places we will be.

You took time to read this post, which means perhaps you're just browsing as well. Take a break. Go tell Jesus, you've missed Him. Perhaps, it'll be the first time you've consciously said "Hi" to Him. Either way, He's waiting to say "I've missed you too...".

"Why did I have to open my mouth? Everyone is watching. I've never been so scared of these waves before. I know I'm safe here, I've always been safe here.  This boat, yeah, this will keep me safe. Or will it? Lemme just play it safe. I don't think I can do this. Wait a minute, what am I thinking? Jesus said I can... JESUS said I can. I guess this is it. This is where the rubber meets the road... where my foot hits the water. Here goes..."

What was going on in Peter's mind when he stepped out of the boat. I mean think of it.. this was not the first time he was meeting Jesus. He had already decided to follow Jesus. He had already seen Jesus do great things; Heal the sick, raise the dead. Actually Peter had already witnessed Jesus calming a storm. But this moment was different. This moment was not about what Jesus could do. It was about what Jesus could do through Peter. All that he knew about Jesus now needed to express itself through an action. A small action, a small step. And yet a step which had lots depending on it. A step which would decide, whether in that moment Peter would actually trust what Jesus said. If Peter would actually act on faith.

The Christian walk is similar in this regard. Many of us know Jesus. We accept Him for Who He is. Believe what He says and put our faith in Him. But then comes the moment when He asks us to take that first step. The point when Jesus asks us to step out of our basic understanding of "Christianity" into a journey with Him. He calls us to convert our limited knowledge of Him into a first hand personal experience with Him. He desires to transform our understanding of Christianity, to stop being a collection of concepts, so that it can then become a daily relationship with Him; one which causes us to continuously grow, learn and act according to His will. He calls to take our first step.

Let me clarify why I call this the "first" step. After all this wasn't the first time Peter acted in faith, was it? He had just left his boats and nets and followed Jesus. That's pretty big isn't it? At least I would say so. That was a big act of faith. However, this moment was one in which Peter's choice would literally have no turning back. Either Jesus upheld His end of the bargain or Peter drowned and died. There was no backup plan. No earthly explanation so as to why this would work. The only thing that Peter had to go by was, what Jesus had spoken.
                  Let's go back to the last time there is a similar situation. Disciples on the boat, Jesus asleep and a raging storm. Jesus wakes up, rebukes the wind and the waves... and it is calm. But they were all still in the boat. Think of it. Peter was a fisherman. He must have been really comfortable in a boat. He must have faced waves in the past and always known how to be safe in the boat. So Jesus calming the storm is cool and all, but he was still afloat on the boat.  This time however, Jesus is calling him out of the boat. This time it's just the words of Jesus against all the raging seas and storms. So this time is different. And for this reason I call this the "first" step. Not the first step of faith, but the first step of a total commitment.

So what was your "first" step? Have you taken it yet? Are you still taking such steps? Some questions we all need to consider. You make such steps every time you listen to the voice of God, and act in faith. Even when all your intelligence and all your experience tells you otherwise. Even when this voice of God is calling you to do something that you think is impossible for you. What is the boat that Jesus is calling you to leave? Is he asking you to leave the comfort of a familiar job or a familiar city. Maybe he wants you to grow beyond the basic "Christianity" that comes from being born in a believing family. Maybe he wants you to stop relying on a rumour based relationship with God to have a first hand relationship with Jesus.

And when you start to commit yourself fully to God. When you are willing to go wherever Jesus takes you cause your realize that He IS your safety and comfort. You embark on a wonderful journey, a fulfilling adventure, because that most awesome person in the universe walks with you - Jesus. And this first step becomes the first step to learn what Jesus wants you to learn, not just by listening, but by walking. It becomes your first step to learning by walking.